Doing the Math

So, Gov. Eliot Spitzer of New York spent $4,300 a pop for some trim.  Now everyone is calling for his head.  While I can understand that, especially considering his squeaky clean image, I think the people of New York are possibly being shortsighted.  Let me explain.

I have a friend who is a great guy, until he gets married, that is.  He’ll admit it himself, that when the knot is tied he changes, and not for the better.  So, the last time he considered getting married, and this was after a series of failed marriages, he sat own and did the math knowing that he would end up back where he always was, in divorce court. He figured out how many times he had relations with his last wife.  He then took the amount that he had to pay his last wife in the settlement of the divorce (fortunately he had no kids) and divided it by the number of times that they had anything resembling sex.  He then took the going rate for a decent call girl (maybe not quite up to Eliot’s par) and multiplied that dollar amount by the number of times that he had sex with his ex-wife.  He then compared the two figures.  As it turned out, had he not gotten married and would have filled his sexual needs with those for hire he would have saved himself about .65 cents on the dollar.

Now let’s look at soon-to-be ex-Governor Spitzer.  Obviously some need wasn’t being met in his relationship.  He chose to stay in his marriage and looked elsewhere for that which turned his crank.  Maybe there’s some honor in that, or maybe he’s a cad, but that isn’t the analysis that I’m doing here. The fact is that if we do the math that my friend did,  Governor Spitzer was potentially way far ahead going over to Miss Kitty’s place and knocking off a $4,300 piece every so often rather than going the divorce route.  Okay, he got caught and that will cost him big time in the end.  Of course the pundits are saying that the psychology of it all is that he wanted to be caught, but I think that’s a load of crap.  All he really wanted was some trim and on some level I’m sure that he did the math that my friend had done and acted accordingly.

So why would the citizens of New York want to take another long look at Eliot Spitzer as their leader?  Well, the man is obviously a fiscal conservative.  This is a man that can most certainly balance a budget and is capable of financial analysis that could further strengthen the State of New York.  And while he may not be very adept at risk assessment, his is masterful in his cost/benefit analysis.  Better yet, the worst is now out in the open.  The skeletons in his closet are in full view.   Heck, had he been the governor of Nevada and his time spent at the Mustang Ranch he’d probably become a folk hero.  And while what he did is the height of sheer stupidity, I could easily make the argument that it was also brilliant, in a way, all things considered.  Of course, the fly in the ointment was getting caught. So, we shall have to view his actions in hindsight while lighting the torches and storming his Manhattan apartment calling for his head.  Me, I’m just hoping that he didn’t catch something and pass it along to his wife.  That would be a good start.

By the way, my friend who did the math ended up deciding  not to get married.  This was fine with his girlfriend, and they decided to live together instead.  That was going on twenty years ago.   The two of them are still together, inseparable, two of the happiest people that I know.

A good man always knows his limitations.

(Note: Please do not take this tongue-in-cheek piece to in any way condone what Gov. Spitzer has done.  It is does not in any way, shape, or form suggest that prostitution is an acceptable activity, at least where it’s illegal,  unless of course you really, really have to pay for it, and then there’s maybe a whole other set of issues going on including catching something that will make your bits fall off.)